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vendredi 13 septembre 2013

Body language secrets that will help you understand what people are truly saying

By Daniel Dunder


Even when you don't say a word, folks can still learn much about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. How do others do this? By studying your body language. The term body language makes reference to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.

It's quite necessary to learn non-verbal communication so as to really hear what people say. Some communication gurus claim that between 5-10% of our communicaton is done through the words we talk. The remainder of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. During your whole life you've been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and expressions. When you were an infant, before you learned how to talk, folks were peering into your little baby face, taking a look at your gestures, and listening to your tiny cries and gurgles, attempting to decipher what sort of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say. And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you might not have been consciously mindful of it.

What kinds of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language inspire others to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to keep away? Take a second to contemplate how you usually stand or sit when you're with people. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes? Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask? When you are sitting down or standing, do you sometimes cross your arms across your chest? If this is your characteristic way of standing or sitting, how do you think others interpret this posture? Did you realize that most individuals will unconsciously translate your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you do not need anyone to come up to you? Only the most courageous souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this position.

If you stand clumsily, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders sagging, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, folks are likely to decide you are very depressed or utterly short of confidence. They may fear that trying to talk with you will be a ungainly experience. When you stand clumsily, you don't project any sign that you're confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in the people around you. Instead you appear to be you are endeavoring to disappear. Irrespective of how despairingly you want somebody to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects disinterest in others, it isn't very likely that many folk will try and start a talk with you.

If some body language signals can frighten people away, are there signals that will encourage folks to stand up and approach you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that's open and non threatening. Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that's upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up. Become privy to the way you are respiring. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky tiny starts and stops? If you spot you are holding your breath, or inhaling a shallow, jerky manner, this is a sign of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you've got to breathe more frequently, which can raise your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all of the muscles of your body to relax. Use your abdomen to help breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top. What are you doing with your hands? If you get scared in social situations, you can feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it's the wrong thing. Many individuals who cross their arms in front of their chest are possibly doing so at least partly because they do not know where else to put their hands.

Stay conscious of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your environment, you will begin to focus too strongly on your internal thoughts. This can quickly raise your tension to a uncomfortable level. It's important to understand that even if you're not speaking, you're communicating. You want to make certain that you are sending out the message that you would like folk to be receiving. Non-verbal communication is something worth considering, and consciously working on improving. It can be a amazing tool, reinforcing what. You need to say, or could lead to misunderstanding it your non-vebal cues aren't supporting the words coming out of your mouth.




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